So tired and excited at the same time, I continue to play the piano on and on, in my own rhythm, slowing down when I want to slow down, and stopping when I want to stop.

I have played the flute for many years, and these days, I don’t want to. It just stays there, in a corner of the room. To find my own rhythm in this new environment has to do with my breathing and I can’t blow into it. My body is tired.

I now start to stare for a long time at the trees, the earth, the snow, noticing a stone, a plant, a person, a dog’s fur, the shape of the clouds. Spring comes, and then the Summer. I start listening to the silence of nature around me. In between the sounds of the leaves, of the rain, of the people and the things around, I notice various smaller or bigger open spaces. Little by little, it is as if a space in me starts to open up. I go for long walks. Every day I observe small things, my eyes, my ears, my senses are wide open and take in.

The forest, the park, the library, the people on the bus, I feel the silence while breathing deeper.

I grew up in big cities but nature has never been as present to me as now.

In the language spoken here, there are long breaks. The silence used to make me feel uncomfortable when I first arrived, but I understand that how much space there is between the words depends on the language, the people, the time, the space and nature.

One day, a friend shows me happily a drawing he has done of boats on the sea. I look at it, saying

－It is good ! Is it watercolour ?

－Yes, it is. I have always been painting with watercolour. This blue colour is exactly the one I wanted.

－In the picture, the seawater is made of water…

－Yes, that fascinates me. How about you drawing too ?

－Me ? I have never drawn anything but rabbits and Christmas trees… I don’t think I want to do watercolour.

－You can draw what you want in any way, freely… To draw gives a good feeling. By the way, you don’t have to show it to anyone.

I look at the drawing carefully without saying a word, breathing in and breathing out.

He did this drawing, so I can do one too, I think. He uses pink there, next to the blue, I think if it were me, I would use purple. I would rather use a dry pencil. Looking at it becomes suddenly as if I had a button inside me, which I decide to push. Maybe I would like to draw too.

－Ok, I will try, I say.

This was the first step to a passion that brought me further in life.

Acrylic on canvas board 31 x 41 cm

CONTINUES NEXT MONTH